Communication 1 - Listening

Research has shown that listening comprises the largest portion of communication.  The estimated breakdown is:

Writing            9%
Reading         16%
Speaking        30%
Listening        45%

But have you ever had any specific training on listening? 

No?  Well, listen up; we’ll go through some listening basics.

What is the difference between listening and hearing?  Hearing is defined as the awareness or perception of sound; listening is making a conscious effort to hear.  So the big difference between listening and hearing is that listening requires effort!

Why is listening so important?  Acknowledgement is a basic, universal human need.  People will generally be more likely to respond better to someone who meets that need than to someone who doesn’t.  Listening skills can also result in more friends and social networks, increased self-esteem, and improved academic performance.  In marriage, a partner’s unwillingness to listen could be a harbinger of the end of a relationship according to Gottman Institute research.

Now you might be thinking: “I have used listening skills all my life, so is this discussion really necessary?”

In response I want to point you to my little graphic that shows what can take place in communication. It also shows why I’m a counselor and not an artist.

As the picture shows, my thought must become words. The words must overcome various barriers to be heard by the other person.  Being heard by the other person must ultimately result in being understood by them.  And there are several ways here where things could go wrong.

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